I am scared that others may read this and what they may think. But here goes.......
I have a confession to make. Sometimes I feel I am losing myself in a wave of emotion in the pit of my stomach, but I try not to let the feeling go too deep and keep swimming above it so as not to fall too deep.
Do not get me wrong I am happy and scared all rolled into one. I am scared as to what the future may bring may way in the form of a new relationship. I am single and have been for over 3 years now. If I delve down, deep down into my heart and soul I am scared of never meeting someone to spend the rest of my life with.
I thought I had such person after being together for over 20 years. It was hard in the beginning and I had tough times getting through the pain of losing a partner I loved and cherished. He had found another love, which I am okay with but it still hurts a hell of a lot. The best thing is that we are friends and he is a good man, whom I am happy to have around for family gatherings and he helps a great deal with everything.
My point is that I am happy being myself at the moment with my beautiful daughters and step families. It does hit me every now and again that no-one really talks about or asks how I am, especially the ones that should be asking. Oh well! Lets just move on.
I am okay but I just need to let this out and share. Sometimes it is okay to overshare a little, especially of no one is reading. Well I know that others will read this and think their own thoughts and hopefully I may resonate with another reader in a similar situation.
I am not sure I want to meet someone new but if my paths crossed with another that hit all the right buttons and sparks are flying then it will all be good. But until that time I am happy, just a little scared for what may come my way.
I am fussy, maybe a little too fussy but I know the man of my dreams will come along and sweep me off my feet, when the time permits...... it will happen..... I know it will....... but I am scared.
I feel my writing may be a little disjointed but this is raw and this is me being me.
I am joining in with The Blog Exchange blog challenge to write like no one is reading. Thank you Raychael who blogs over at Agent Mystery Case for this idea.