Tuesday, June 3, 2014

6 WAYS TO STOP JUDGING




We all make judgements, don't we? What people wear, how they react, how they look, how people dress or doing this and that differently to how we would. I have started refocusing my negative thinking to focusing on the positives and I find myself thinking less negatively a lot of the time. I do not like being negative and i am trying to help my daughters to refocus their thoughts to positive ones. Most of all we judge ourselves, especially with parenting or everyday tasks. I used to have so much 'Mother Guilt' when my daughters were little, but there is not much point on thinking what could have or should have been. Focus on the present and make the situations ahead different and happier.


Monitor your thoughts.


Think about what you thinking about. I often go along thinking things about other people, judging them, and I don't even realise it. I'm going to work on paying more attention to my thoughts and do my best to push them in a positive direction.


Look for the positive. 

Judgments are negative. There is almostalways something positive you can find in someone or something. While my mind might immediately focus on the negative, I can push my thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say. And, of course, if you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all. 


Avoid stereotyping. 

Stereotypes are never, ever good. I really try to avoid them, but I know I don't always. As I said above, they really create a lot of negativity in the world and I know I don't want to be a part of that. I want to work on recognizing stereotypes and working to avoid them at all costs. There is no need for them in my life. 


Stop judging yourself. 

It's not all that easy to do, but the more we judge ourselves, the more we'll judge others. I judge myself a lot and I need to work on that. I need to focus on the positive aspects of me and then it will be a lot easier to focus on the positive aspects of others. There's no reason to be so hard on myself and I'm going to really, really work on this one. 


Focus on your own life. 

When all else fails and judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don't worry about what other people are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your own life. Focus on what you want and go after it. When you're trying to avoid your own problems, it's easy to criticize others. Don't. Think about you and focus on the good things. 

Remember how it feels. 

Remember how it feels to be judged. AND remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn't feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now. I'm going to work on remember these feelings the next time I feel like a negative thought about someone else is cropping up.
 


Are you judgmental? 

Does it affect your everyday?



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25 comments :

  1. Deb @ home life simplifiedJune 3, 2014 at 6:41 AM

    Love the tip to focus on your own life. We are in sync this week as my post s about how people are communicating online and whoa is there a lot of judgement going on out there xx

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  2. Yes! there are some great tips here. I will have to take a look at your post. Thank you for being here. V x

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  3. Part of my 'casing' work involves me finding the negatives and pointing them out to clients. As a result I think I do tend to judge and find fault before anything else and it has become a rather bad habit.

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  4. Yes we all tend to find fault and sometimes that can be a good thing as they can be fixed. Negatives can be turned into positives. V x

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  5. I try consciously to be tolerant and avoid being judgmental, though sometimes it's difficult, especially when we think we're right and someone you know and like does something 'bad'!
    Great tips for keeping positive zen. :)

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  6. I used to very judgemental, but I've gotten a lot better. I still have room to improve for sure, but I'm getting there.
    I know I judge myself a lot, and that is the worst thing. Because the more I do that, the more I then judge others to make me feel better. It's a vicious cycle.

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  7. Sometimes I think judging is such a normal part of our thought process. But, its not cool. I love that you are taking these step to change your thoughts. This is what my blog is all about. It is a slow process, but one that starts at the awareness that you have arrived at. You can only go up!

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  8. Recognising that you are is improvement plus. Yes I judge myself as well. V x

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  9. Yes judging is normal part of our thoughts, we can change the judgement though to think in a positive way rather than negative. V x

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  10. Yes, being judgemental is something that I constantly work on. I judge myself quite harshly too. I try and see the best in people or be positive and that seems to help.

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  11. Yes that is what i do as well. Works better on the mind and the soul to see the positive. V x

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  12. I think the less judgmental we are towards ourselves the less are of other people. And yes being judged is a great feeling to remember so we don't do it! If you have to judge to make yourself feel better then there are deeper issues at work! Emily - also visiting as part of #teamIBOT

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  13. Great post. Totally agree. Let's live in the present and without judgment. We should have opinions, but without the judgment please.

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  14. We all judge, I think it's just human nature. The most important thing for me though is recognising that non of us are perfect, including me when I busy judging others! Great post gorgeous xx

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  15. I used to be quite judgemental when I was young, but have mellowed with age. I think we really need to remember to put ourselves in other peoples' shoes.

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  16. Yes opinions are granted and judgement we should keep to the minimum. V x

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  17. Madison O'SullivanJune 4, 2014 at 7:38 AM

    Oh yes, I agree with all of these six. Pity, some take it to the extreme with being judgemental.

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  18. Yes we do need to place ourselves outside our own situations and realise that everyone is different. V x

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  19. They are great tips. They really get you thinking. V x

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  20. Yes everyone has their own agenda, their own space and so forth. We can all get along with out judgment. Thank you Bev. V x

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  21. Judgement has been on my mind a lot lately and just how prolific it is in our society. I used to judge frequently when I was younger and not a mother. I've recently realised I am now exactly the person I once would have judged. Maturity helps in some circumstances I think.

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  22. I used to be very judgemental. I am much better these days and I noticed one thing that really impacted me was the people I was around. When I hung around those judging others, I fell into the same patter. On my own I was nowhere near as judgemental.
    I also found that the happier I am with myself and my life, the less I judge others.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I love reading your comments, they are important to me. V x

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