Thursday, May 3, 2012


Be kind

I HATE bullying and I know hate is a strong word, but I just really dislike hearing about people being bullied. Especially our younger generation and the fact that they cannot find a way out and consider committing suicide. I have had a few people commit suicide in my life time but they were not from being bullied. Every time I hear about a young person not being to find a way out and choose to end their lives because of these nasty people, it breaks my heart that they feel so low and they cannot find any way out of their thoughts.

My youngest daughter has been a victim of bullies and I cannot tolerate it. I often look at both sides of the story and cannot believe that people choose to pick on or degrade others because they feel the need to dominate. My daughter was the subject of bullying because she was standing up for others that she saw were being mistreated Honestly how does that work? Being bullied because you cannot stand others being picked on. I have always told both my daughters to stand up for themselves. Everyone deserves to shine and be the best person they can be. Isn't it more fun being friends with everyone!

'Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticise others' ~ H.Jackson Brown JR

Positive Ways to Prevent Bullying ~ Positively Present

1. Don't be a bully. 

It might sound obvious, but it's not always as obvious as you would think. Many bullies might not consider themselves bullies. But remember: every unkind word, every condescending statement is a form of bullying. And so is just standing by while others are bullied. Give some serious thought to your actions and remind yourself that you could be bullying people without even realizing it. Listen to the tone of your voice, the words you speak, and the actions you take. And remind yourself that all of that applies to bullying yourself too. You are a bully to yourself if you beat yourself up emotionally or self-harm in any way. Even if you don't bully others, you might be bullying yourself. One way to prevent bullying is to stop beating yourself up. 

2. Stand up for yourself. 
If you are being bullied, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. (Physical bullying is another matter and there are many cases in which standing up for yourself could be dangerous. Don't put yourself in physical harm; walk away if possible.) You have the right to say to a friend, parent, boss, random person, etc. that you do not want to be bullied. You have the right to say no, to walk away, to call him/her out on being a bully. You -- your thoughts, words, actions, and body -- are valuable and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and remind others what you are worth.

3. Stand up for others. 
It is tempting not to get involved with others are being bullied and, in some cases (especially in school), it's almost better to join in on the bullying to avoid becoming one of the bullied. But not standing up for others is just as bad as doing the actual bullying. If you see someone being bullied -- at work, at school, even in your own home -- stand up for that person. Step in and tell the bully that s/he is being a bully. Tempting as it is to stand by and stay out of it -- don't. Those who are being bullied need someone to back them up, to be their voice when they cannot speak.

4. Ask for help.
Bullying obviously takes on many, many forms. If the bullying is physical or dangerous, it's important to seek help. If you a child or teenager, talk to a trusted adult. If you are an adult, talk to someone higher up (for example, your boss's boss). If you are being bullied at home, find an outside resource or organisation that can help you. There is no shame in asking for help -- and that's what you must do if you or someone you know is being bullied. And don't give up. Their might be people who dismiss your concerns or don't take you seriously. Find someone else. Don't let one person's ignorance hold you back from getting the help you or someone else deserves.

5. Seek counselling. 
If you think you might be a bully, find a counselor or therapist that can help you uncover why you bully and how you can stop. If you're being bullied (or even if you think you might be), find a counsel or therapist who can help you find the most effective ways to address the bullying while also helping you to cope with the negative (and often long-term) impact of being bullied. Even if you have been able to stop bullying or have stopped the bully from bothering you, you may be dealing with emotional issues as a result of having been bullied or having been a bully. Seeking outside help will help you deal cope with -- and hopefully overcome -- these issues.

6. Love yourself. 
Loving yourself is crucial when it comes to overcoming bullying. Loving yourself will prevent you from being a bully. It will help you stand up for yourself if you feel you are being bullied. It will force you to remove yourself from negative situations in which you might be bullied. It will help you overcome and cope with any bullying you might have faced -- or will face. Loving yourself is essential. Even though it's #6 on this list, it's the most essential aspect of bully prevention. People who love themselves don't bully and people who love themselves don't allow themselves to be bullied. 

Now is the only time I have -- we all have -- to make a difference. If you are being a bully, stop. If you are being bullied, stand up for yourself. If you can't stand up for yourself, find someone who can. The scars of being bullied may never fully disappear, but we have the power each and every day to prevent new wounds from appearing. 


  1. Wonderful post. Thank you!

  2. I am sorry about your daughter! She is a very courageous person: standing up for others. My son was bullied because he is a bit different from others! It is tough to deal with. Love your ideas and post.


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