Monday, March 19, 2012

on my mind LOSING A PARENT


I have not lost a parent yet. But I know I am close to losing my father. Yesterday morning I received a phone call from my sister in Melbourne stating that my father has been rushed to hospital with a chest infection. Instantly we were both in tears as we both knew that this could be the end. 

My father, who has always suffered from asthma and has emphysema (a condition in which the air sacs of the lungs are damaged and enlarged, causing breathlessness) which has escalated over the years and he now has spots in his lungs. Over the last 9 months Dad has progressively gotten worse, especially after radiation). He has no weight on him and is literally skin and bone. The week before christmas my daughter's and I travelled down to Melbourne to spend time with Dad as we do know the end is near. We always hope that it is later down the track.
The time we had in Melbourne was a really special time spent with Dad as we had a lovely lunch together and he bought some lovely books for the girls. That time will always be cherished.


Yesterday Dad was not able to talk as his body needed to put all it's energy in breathing and getting better. My sister and brother, Dad's girlfriend, as well as his brother and sister have been by his side. Today Dad is perkier and able to talk to me. Which has lifted my spirits enormously after moping around all day yesterday. 

When I spoke to my father he said to me that he is happy and content and admitted the end is eminent. How do you prepare yourself knowing you are going to lose a special family member who has been their your whole life? I guess you do not really prepare yourself at all. You just hope in the back of your mind that everything will be ok. Do we fly down to see him? Or do we just wait...... I also have a sick daughter at the moment and do not want to leave anyone here while I visit my father. I know my daughters want to come too. I, in particular, would like to be there but most importantly I do not want to see him really sick and would like to remember him the way he was when we visited him at the end of last year. 


  1. I lost both my parents about 10 years ago, when I lost my mom, it was really a huge loss for our family, by the time we lost our dad, about 2 years later, we realized how much he felt the loneliness life 2 years without mom. I hope you have the courage to prepare anything that will come, its been very difficult to us as it was so sudden and we were very close in our family, we felt like losing the world

  2. I knew that my mum was going go, we knew it for a few weeks and I managed to spend so much time with her that I will always treasure. The day before she died she spoke to myself, my dad, my husband and my children individually and collectively. She had everything planned and told me her wishes. I truly am glad that I spend the time with her and its a time that I will always hold on to! I felt nothing was left unsaid, we spoke about her childhood, her past, her loves, her regrets, her wishes for my future. I truly found beauty in the most saddest time of my life. My prayers and thoughts are with your dad and your family. xx


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